Location, Condition and Price: All for One or One Fix All!

Brian Morgenweck February 13, 2015

The Three Houseketeers - Location, Condition and Price: All for one or one fix all!

Location, Condition and Price, the Three Housketeers! ...and I, their learned Marketeer. ‘Tis my place to keep the Houseketeers as one to win the favor of goodly, noble buyers and please the kind and generous, King Seller.

Ah, when the Three Houseketeers fight as one, it’s an enchanting sight for all to behold! More often than not, their swordsmanship or morale may appear a bit rusty and must be sharpened, for the good of the King. (Yup, the seller...you've got it.)

Location, clearly the eldest of the Houseketeers, is stubborn, immovable, and seemingly has developed a bit of an arrogant nature. Over the years, he’s come to think that it is, quite simply, all about him...what with villagers & nobles alike, all clamoring that the “Three most important things are Location, Location, Location”, one might see why he’d have developed such a fancy for himself! ...But, I know better.

Condition, on the other hand, has always been the first to battle. Torn by the elements, time and weather-beaten and suffering from abuse or, at times, even neglect...Condition is most honorable in his efforts. He fights the good fight & so, must be rewarded on occasion with whatever armour is necessary to aid in the defense of the King’s castle...and keep it true.

Price... dear Price...I do have my suspicions. While certainly the most agile and somewhat agreeable to fluctuations in the kingdom, I fear he may be negotiable. Price only gives cause to such thoughts on occasion. Most often, ‘tis through no fault of his own.

At times, this is the cause of great merriment to King Seller. Other times, well... heads roll!

Price can be, shall we say, subject to the moods of the other members of the Houseketeer troupe. While this angers the King greatly, it is, in fact, his castle to rule. Often, the wise King Seller calls upon his humble servant to guide and advise him in the ways of working with the Houseketeers, keeping them “All for One” and marketing them most effectively as to benefit him greatly and bring him much joy.

On to battle! Location either brings a valiant fight and is a great source of pride for the king or stands aback, and must be carried by Condition and Price. This makes the fight that much more difficult, but nothing is impossible for the Houseketeers!

At times, Condition has been weakened and suffers greatly. I advise the king on many occasions to aid in his recuperation.

Should Location not be the force he’s so often touted as being, and the king not wish to strengthen Condition by replacing some of his armour to prepare ALL of his Houseketeers for battle, then...

Price must certainly fight alone...

As King Seller’s favored Marketeer, it falls upon me to showcase his castle to every eye in the kingdom, expose every benefit to noble buyers and guide my sovereign in his crusade. King Seller hands me a well-deserved bag of gold at the famed Round (closing) Table. We all benefit from keeping the Houseketeers fighting as one and preventing the good king from being additionally crowned !

Many times, I’ve overheard King Seller after the battle and feast, speaking of my virtues to members of his court, confiding in them...

“It’s good to be the King!”

And, so ends the story of the Three Houseketeers, Location, Condition and Price: All for one or one fix all!

The goodly, noble Marketeer, Brian Morgenweck, can be reached at (201)489-3020.

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